Welcome back Dear Readers and well done for making it this far. We have reached chapter nineteen and this week our plucky team from the Mythical Creatures Employment Exchange take to the skies in an unusual flying machine. Their aim: to rescue Alice,the Kraken, Njord and Lisbeth the havfrue from the evil Nautilus Entertainment Worldwide Transcorporation.
If you are joining us for the first time, you are very welcome! To find out what the hell is going on, you might prefer to go to chapter one and start at the very begining. A full chapter listing can be found here. As always, a big hello to everyone linking in from #fridayflash and #tuesdayserial.
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And so the fun continues…
The Mythical Creatures Employment Exchange
(In which our intrepid heroes learn the importance of fastening their seat belts at all times in case of turbulence)
Bette and Barbra, reared up and launched themselves into the air, followed by the other four reindeer. The schizophrenic unicorn wedged between them, still under the impression that he was Pegasus, joined in the frantic kicking and ‘Operation Tooth and Claw’ took to the skies.
Fiona checked behind to make sure the caravan was still tethered to the animals.
‘Everything seems all right back there,’ said Fiona, ‘how about the reindeer?’
‘They’re alright,’ said Bertie, ‘it’s that bloody unicorn I’m worried about. Look at him.’
‘Is he supposed to be glowing like that?’
‘No idea; you’re the expert on mythological creatures.’
‘Well,’ said Fiona, trying to remember what the handbook had to say about unicorns, ‘they are magical. I suppose they can do pretty much anything.’
‘Apart from fly,’ said Bertie, ‘look at him; he really thinks he’s got wings.’
‘It’s no wonder he was looking for work: schizophrenic unicorns don’t make the most reliable employees. Is that Judy and Liza in the middle?’
‘No, that’s Cher and Kylie.’
‘Whoever they are, they’re glowing now as well. In fact, they all are. I knew we shouldn’t have brought along that stupid pony.’
Bertie looked down; towns and villages flashed past in a blur.
‘We’re speeding up.’
The wind certainly felt stronger on Fiona’s face.
‘How fast should we be going?’
‘No idea,’ said Bertie, tightening his grip on the reins, ‘but even the reindeer look nervous. It must be the unicorn making us go faster.’
‘I’m quite aware of that, but right now, we have a bigger problem. Look out!’
Fiona and Bertie ducked as a 747 shot past overhead.
‘Turbulence!’ screamed Bertie.
Inside the caravan, Ms Pinky, who had just begun handing out muffins, was knocked off her paws as the caravan passed through the aircraft’s wake. She landed on top of one of the zombies, snapping off his legs.
‘I do apologise,’ said Ms Pinky.
‘Don’t worry,’ said the zombie, ‘happens all the time; arthritis.’
‘Oh you poor thing,’ said Ms Pinky, ‘that must be terribly painful. Have you had it long?’
The zombie wearily picked up a leg and examined the knee joint.
‘Centuries,’ he replied.
‘We’d better be careful,’ said Neil, reaching out to help Ms Pinky up, ‘the reindeer are going much faster than I expected; we can’t afford any more accidents.’
‘I agree,’ said Ms Pinky, ‘I’ll just finish handing out the snacks. You know, I always wondered what it was like being an air hostess.’ The caravan lurched violently to one side throwing the monster to the floor again. ‘It’s very glamorous, isn’t it?’
‘Not quite what I was thinking,’ said Neil stepping in a pile of vomit in front of the Furies. ‘Is this yours?’
‘It’s Sasha’s,’ said Sheba, ‘Shelly’s feeling a bit green too.’
‘Get her to the toilet please,’ said Neil, ‘and then clean up this mess.’
‘We can’t use the bathroom; the poltergeists are holding a séance in there and won’t come out.’
‘We’ll see about that!’ said Neil, knocking on the toilet door. ‘Right you lot, out!’
‘Sshhh! We’re in communion with the spirits,’ said a voice from the other side.
‘Barry, you ARE a spirit and I’m communing with you to vacate this facility immediately.’
‘Oh very well; come on lads.’
Neil waited for a moment.
‘Are you out yet?’
‘Yes,’ said Barry from behind him.
‘Right,’ shouted Neil, ‘listen up everyone.’
The occupants of the caravan fell silent apart from the monsters huddled round the dinette squabbling about who was the scariest: one of them was demonstrating how he could wrap his tongue around his head five times; Mildred had turned herself inside out again; a third had just regurgitated a cat she had swallowed for breakfast.
‘And I mean EVERYONE!’
The monsters stopped arguing and looked up.
‘We are very disappointed in your conduct so far, aren’t we Ms Pinky?’
Ms Pinky, who was attempting to squeeze into her black body stocking, nodded vigorously.
‘Yes, we are,’ she gasped.
‘In a few short hours, ‘continued Neil, ‘you will be embarking on a daring rescue mission. At the moment, I doubt if any of you could rescue a cat from a tree.’ The monsters started to protest. ‘Licking the cat from the tree and eating it does not count,’ snapped Neil. ‘I suggest you put your heads together and start working as a team. Do I make myself clear?’
There was a general mumbling of agreement.
‘Good. And be careful please; we’ve picked up speed and we don’t want any more injuries.’
Neil rejoined Ms Pinky at the front of the caravan.
‘You’re very masterful sometimes, aren’t you?’ said the monster. ‘Are you sure Bertie’s the one for you?’
‘Quite sure,’ he said, ‘but thanks anyway.’
Having safely avoided any further near-misses with commercial aviation, Fiona and Bertie were now enjoying the experience of flying by reindeer; they weren’t even feeling particularly cold, much to their surprise.
‘The magical glow must be keeping us warm,’ suggested Bertie.
‘I think you’re right. If anything, it’s almost too warm.’
Fiona admired the view for a moment.
‘I’d appreciate this even more if I wasn’t so worried about Alice,’ she said, ‘I hope we’re not too late.’
‘I’m looking forward to meeting her, she sound like quite a character.’
‘You’ve never met her, have you?’
‘No,’ said Bertie, ‘but it won’t be long now; by my calculations we shouldn’t be too far away.’
They both peered over the side of their reindeers.
‘I don’t see a ship,’ said Fiona.
‘Me neither, but what’s that flying towards us? Is it a bird?’
Fiona shook her head.
‘Maybe a plane?’
‘No,’ said Fiona, ‘it’s a Harpie!’
Sure enough, one of the Harpies zoomed up towards them shrieking at the top of her voice.
‘The ship is found! The ship is found!’
‘Thank goodness,’ said Fiona, ‘Bertie, get our coordinates from your sat nav and I’ll text Jenny the details.’
‘Wilco,’ said Bertie.
‘This is it!’ shouted Fiona, ‘Hold on Alice! We’re nearly there!’
© flyingscribbler 2011