The Mythical Creatures Employment Exchange. Chapter Nineteen. A comedy/fantasy web serial. #fridayflash #tuesdayserial

Welcome back Dear Readers and well done for making it this far. We have reached chapter nineteen and this week our plucky team from the Mythical Creatures Employment Exchange take to the skies in an unusual flying machine. Their aim: to rescue Alice,the Kraken, Njord and Lisbeth the havfrue from the evil Nautilus Entertainment Worldwide Transcorporation.

If you are joining us for the first time, you are very welcome! To find out what the hell is going on, you might prefer to go to chapter one and start at the very begining.  A full chapter listing can be found here. As always, a big hello to everyone linking in from #fridayflash and #tuesdayserial.

Please leave your comments; they really do help.

And so the fun continues…

 

The Mythical Creatures Employment Exchange

Chapter Nineteen

(In which our intrepid heroes learn the importance of fastening their seat belts at all times in case of turbulence)

 

Bette and Barbra, reared up and launched themselves into the air, followed by the other four reindeer. The schizophrenic unicorn wedged between them, still under the impression that he was Pegasus, joined in the frantic kicking and ‘Operation Tooth and Claw’ took to the skies.

Fiona checked behind to make sure the caravan was still tethered to the animals.

‘Everything seems all right back there,’ said Fiona, ‘how about the reindeer?’

‘They’re alright,’ said Bertie, ‘it’s that bloody unicorn I’m worried about. Look at him.’

‘Is he supposed to be glowing like that?’

Bertie shrugged.

‘No idea; you’re the expert on mythological creatures.’

‘Well,’ said Fiona, trying to remember what the handbook had to say about unicorns, ‘they are magical. I suppose they can do pretty much anything.’

‘Apart from fly,’ said Bertie, ‘look at him; he really thinks he’s got wings.’

‘It’s no wonder he was looking for work: schizophrenic unicorns don’t make the most reliable employees. Is that Judy and Liza in the middle?’

‘No, that’s Cher and Kylie.’

‘Whoever they are, they’re glowing now as well. In fact, they all are. I knew we shouldn’t have brought along that stupid pony.’

Bertie looked down; towns and villages flashed past in a blur.

‘We’re speeding up.’

The wind certainly felt stronger on Fiona’s face.

‘How fast should we be going?’

‘No idea,’ said Bertie, tightening his grip on the reins, ‘but even the reindeer look nervous. It must be the unicorn making us go faster.’

‘I’m quite aware of that, but right now, we have a bigger problem. Look out!’

Fiona and Bertie ducked as a 747 shot past overhead.

‘Turbulence!’ screamed Bertie.

Inside the caravan, Ms Pinky, who had just begun handing out muffins, was knocked off her paws as the caravan passed through the aircraft’s wake. She landed on top of one of the zombies, snapping off his legs.

‘I do apologise,’ said Ms Pinky.

‘Don’t worry,’ said the zombie, ‘happens all the time; arthritis.’

‘Oh you poor thing,’ said Ms Pinky, ‘that must be terribly painful. Have you had it long?’

The zombie wearily picked up a leg and examined the knee joint.

‘Centuries,’ he replied.

‘We’d better be careful,’ said Neil, reaching out to help Ms Pinky up, ‘the reindeer are going much faster than I expected; we can’t afford any more accidents.’

‘I agree,’ said Ms Pinky, ‘I’ll just finish handing out the snacks. You know, I always wondered what it was like being an air hostess.’ The caravan lurched violently to one side throwing the monster to the floor again.  ‘It’s very glamorous, isn’t it?’

‘Not quite what I was thinking,’ said Neil stepping in a pile of vomit in front of the Furies. ‘Is this yours?’

‘It’s Sasha’s,’ said Sheba, ‘Shelly’s feeling a bit green too.’

‘Get her to the toilet please,’ said Neil, ‘and then clean up this mess.’

‘We can’t use the bathroom; the poltergeists are holding a séance in there and won’t come out.’

‘We’ll see about that!’ said Neil, knocking on the toilet door. ‘Right you lot, out!’

‘Sshhh! We’re in communion with the spirits,’ said a voice from the other side.

‘Barry, you ARE a spirit and I’m communing with you to vacate this facility immediately.’

‘Oh very well; come on lads.’

Neil waited for a moment.

‘Are you out yet?’

‘Yes,’ said Barry from behind him.

‘Right,’ shouted Neil, ‘listen up everyone.’

The occupants of the caravan fell silent apart from the monsters huddled round the dinette squabbling about who was the scariest: one of them was demonstrating how he could wrap his tongue around his head five times; Mildred had turned herself inside out again; a third had just regurgitated a cat she had swallowed for breakfast.

‘And I mean EVERYONE!’

The monsters stopped arguing and looked up.

‘We are very disappointed in your conduct so far, aren’t we Ms Pinky?’

Ms Pinky, who was attempting to squeeze into her black body stocking, nodded vigorously.

‘Yes, we are,’ she gasped.

‘In a few short hours, ‘continued Neil, ‘you will be embarking on a daring rescue mission. At the moment, I doubt if any of you could rescue a cat from a tree.’ The monsters started to protest. ‘Licking the cat from the tree and eating it does not count,’ snapped Neil. ‘I suggest you put your heads together and start working as a team. Do I make myself clear?’

There was a general mumbling of agreement.

‘Good. And be careful please; we’ve picked up speed and we don’t want any more injuries.’

Neil rejoined Ms Pinky at the front of the caravan.

‘You’re very masterful sometimes, aren’t you?’ said the monster. ‘Are you sure Bertie’s the one for you?’

Neil smiled.

‘Quite sure,’ he said, ‘but thanks anyway.’

Having safely avoided any further near-misses with commercial aviation, Fiona and Bertie were now enjoying the experience of flying by reindeer; they weren’t even feeling particularly cold, much to their surprise.

‘The magical glow must be keeping us warm,’ suggested Bertie.

‘I think you’re right. If anything, it’s almost too warm.’

Fiona admired the view for a moment.

‘I’d appreciate this even more if I wasn’t so worried about Alice,’ she said, ‘I hope we’re not too late.’

‘I’m looking forward to meeting her, she sound like quite a character.’

‘You’ve never met her, have you?’

‘No,’ said Bertie, ‘but it won’t be long now; by my calculations we shouldn’t be too far away.’

They both peered over the side of their reindeers.

‘I don’t see a ship,’ said Fiona.

‘Me neither, but what’s that flying towards us? Is it a bird?’

Fiona shook her head.

‘Maybe a plane?’

‘No,’ said Fiona, ‘it’s a Harpie!’

Sure enough, one of the Harpies zoomed up towards them shrieking at the top of her voice.

‘The ship is found! The ship is found!’

‘Thank goodness,’ said Fiona, ‘Bertie, get our coordinates from your sat nav and I’ll text Jenny the details.’

‘Wilco,’ said Bertie.

‘This is it!’ shouted Fiona, ‘Hold on Alice! We’re nearly there!’

 

© flyingscribbler 2011

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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21 comments on “The Mythical Creatures Employment Exchange. Chapter Nineteen. A comedy/fantasy web serial. #fridayflash #tuesdayserial

  1. Icy Sedgwick says:

    Monster vomit must be even nastier than the regular variety!

    Lots of fun, as always!

  2. John Wiswell says:

    Growing more tense, rapid close – that final line particularly makes it feel like the series, or at least the arc, is drawing to an end. Are you thinking of closing up shop, or was that my overactive imagination?

  3. laradunning says:

    I’m on the tip of my seat waiting for the next part. What a great way to start my day.

  4. dannigrrl says:

    And I thought 3rd grade field trips were bad! I love your insanely wonderful cast of characters. Like John said, it sounds like this part of their adventure will be wrapping up soon. Any plans for a new one once this wraps?

    • Thanks Danni. A while ago I worried my characters were TOO odd, but now I’m just really enjoying them. As I said to John, I may have bigger plans for this lot. It’s all fermenting gradually!

  5. adampb says:

    There’s nothing odd about these characters. Over the weeks they’ve become cherished friends. Looking forward to the denouement and hopefully a full on battle scene. GO Ms Pinky!
    Adam B @revhappiness

  6. FARfetched says:

    I have to agree with Danni, “insanely wonderful cast of characters.” I get the feeling that when it’s over, Alice may have preferred to be a werewolf’s dinner! 😀

  7. Steve Green says:

    Hahaha! I would have liked to have seen the look on the 747’s pilots face, and how his report was received. 🙂

    This is all coming together very nicely, and very funnily too. 🙂

  8. Always such fun reading these flashes!
    I like how you worked the slight Superman reference in there with asking if it was a bird or a plane and it ending up being a Harpie 🙂 Can’t wait until next week!

  9. Hi there Justin — You’ve got a really good pace on this piece. The schizo unicorn is great, and I did laugh at the spirit leaving the toilet. Lovely description of a ramshackle mythic rescue operation — full of individually motivated characters — that does feel as if the caravan is hanging in the sky by a thread. Going to be very interesting to see if/how this unusual branch of the SAS (Supernatural Air Services) manage to shamble, ooze and generally sucker their way over the rescue line. 😉

    St.

  10. Laurita says:

    I think the characters are what really bring these to life. Not the only thing, mind, but one of them. Love the excitement.

  11. […] The Mythical Creatures Employment Exchange. # 19. By Justin Davies. […]

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